Abundance

I might keep the 'abundance' theme going for the time being (my 2024 word of the year.)

By giving this blog post a title with the word in it, I might just continue to see the world for what it has, rather than what it doesn’t.

Helping me along is a book that my friend Emily recommended ‘Simple Abundance; A Daybook of Comfort & Joy’, by Sarah Ban Breathnach. It’s taken me a while to get to it and jeepers, it’s a beauty. Each day there is a quote and a short essay, with a reminder about the simple pleasures in life and how we can create our own version of abundance.

A line from today says ‘Today, let go of the struggle. Allow the healing process of change to begin. You’re ready to move on.’ Wow – that was a beauty and exactly what I needed to read. Wow – that was a beauty and exactly what I needed to read.

I have spent the last couple of weeks listening to dear, poor, loveable, sad, courageous, and patient Matthew Perry – Chandler Bing of ‘Friends’ fame – in his memoir ‘Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing.’ Oh gosh, it’s been heartbreaking to listen to him speak about his life of addiction. It was published maybe 12 months before his life ended, so it really feels like he is speaking from the other side.

The way he describes the yearning and the longing and the warm honey feeling when the substances took over, that is very relatable in itself. That feeling of ease oozing through the body. Gosh he was brave to put it into words for the world to read and hear. I hope that he had some peace in his final days… that’s all any of us are aiming for I guess.

I tend to think a lot about my own relationship with alcohol and have written about it a few times over the years.

I had my last proper booze up on New Year’s Eve 2012. When I think about my drinking, which I often do because it was such a constant, I realise I had a dependency on it. (I wonder what the difference is between dependency and addiction?!) I depended on alcohol for confidence when I went out to the pub, to catch up socially and at parties. I had convinced myself, through years of not knowing any different, that to have fun and to be fun and funny only came along after drinking.

Turns out that is not the case.

After that last hurrah at NYE, with friends on a property about 150k west of Forbes, I had the most shocking hangover. It wasn’t so much a ‘falling down the stairs’ moment, more like a ‘lying with my cheeks on a friend’s cold bathroom tiles’ moment. (I’m pretty sure it was their toilet floor.) Sad times. I was so sick that next day, sick of myself and sick of the repetition.

I was angry with myself too and that’s probably what the difference was between that hangover and the hundreds I’d had before hand. I had tried to go out and not drink before that and it had been really hard, so this was not a snap decision, it was just taking way more energy than I imagined.

So here we are 13 years on, and apart from a few nights on the turps in that same year, I pretty much stopped the intake of alcohol.

I strengthened my muscles of confidence, faltered many times and was tempted to have a couple of drinks to take the edge off, and then it just got a lot easier and less of a ‘thing.’ And how does it relate to abundance? (There are so many cliches I could use here.) I guess it’s meant that I have room to think about other things.

I’m not planning, mixing, suffering or regretting anything because of alcohol. That part of my brain is completely empty and making room for my next idea or pursuit. I know, for example, I would have never made the shift from teaching to owning my own business if it hadn’t been for the clarity that came with being grog free.

I have an abundance of courage and determination and will power – that I know for sure. And there are many others taking the steps to back off on the drinking. It might be helpful to check in with Sober in the Country if you are that way inclined or come along to a workshop that I’m offering and I’ll be sure to chew your ear off about my experience if you give me half a chance!

A community is so helpful in times of change. Love, Cherie.

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